Source : Globe & Mail

A phone rings in a Montreal head office. Pierre Karl Péladeau, surrounded by a small sea of empty desks, snatches up the receiver.

"Oui, hello," says our handsome and way-too-intense hero.

"PKP, this is Destiny calling," says a seductive voice from down the line.

"Non, non, not again," PKP says. "Last time you called, my petite temptress, I almost blew my brains out on convergence at Vidéotron."

"Ah, dear PKP, but look who's laughing now," Destiny replies. "The entire nation of Quebec watched Star Académie. You own the waterfront. Three million souls look to you for all things media. Stop apologizing, my son. It's time to start building again."

"I'm listening," PKP sighs.

"It's the Anglos, my son. The Albertans at Craig Media. The sons of the founders stubbed their toes. Private equity investors are all in a knot.

"The works, Toronto stations, news, music, digital channels, they're for sale. Does it not cry out to you?" Destiny gushes.

"Still listening," PKP says.

"Make a clean bid for the whole thing. Stop Torstar from snatching that Toronto 1 station they want so badly. Roll tout into Quebecor Media on Monday, then turn around, tout de suite, and take that whole company public on Friday," Destiny says, glancing at her spreadsheet.

"C'est fantastique, oui?' Destiny purrs.

"You'd get a better valuation on Quebecor Media, because you've suddenly got national reach on both newspapers and television, plus higher EBITDA. And with a bit of programming help from the creative minds at TVA, Toronto 1 might finally grab a few eyeballs."

"And the CRTC?" our man in Montreal says. "Is loath to give those highhanded blokes in Toronto, at Alliance and CHUM, a single break," Destiny finishes PKP's sentence. "The regulators love national competition."

"But l'argent . . . What about the money? Where do I find more than $200-million for Craig? I can't sell more of my printer," PKP moans.

"Other people's money, PKP, use other people's money," Destiny fires back.

"RBC Dominion is shopping Craig Media and holds its debts. RBC is also one of your leading lenders. The debts can just go from one name to another, and you pay it all off when Quebecor Media goes public. Who better than you, my dear PKP?"

Who, indeed, PKP wonders as he puts down the phone.

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