Source: Globe and Mail

I've heard some dumb ideas in my time. After all, I do write about the TV racket.

But the dumbest ideas come from the federal government. Now, it has come to this: According to the newspaper you're reading, the big idea in Ottawa for fixing the crisis in local television is – wait for it – the government should buy more TV ads. Loadsa ads. Tons of ads. The government would have to pay, of course, and this would keep the money flowing to local TV stations.

You have to wonder. Would the payments be in cash, to hasten the process? How thick would the envelopes be? An inch thick? Would it be used twenties or crisp new hundreds? As anyone who has watched the Mulroney-Schreiber inquiry on TV can attest, these are important questions.

Even more important, and anchored in the realm of reality, is the issue of small-city media being reliant on money coming directly from the government. A similar idea was popular in the Soviet Union and in a long list of other dictatorships. I mean, I know I've taken to referring to the Prime Minister as Our Glorious Leader, but this is a tad ridiculous.

And, say, would the advertising manager at a local TV station have to, you know, explain how the money from the government would be spent? You gotta wonder if it might all be done with a wink and a nod. This ludicrous idea presents an appalling vista – government propping up the main medium for local news and information.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The crisis in local television is about consumers, most of whom put a high value on local TV service and are probably willing to pay for it.

The solution is, first, fee-for-carriage. In the larger picture, fee-for-carriage is a toxic issue that divides broadcasters and cable companies. The broadcasters want the cable companies to pay for carrying over-the-air stations, just as they collect a fee from subscribers to specialty channels. The cable companies snarl and say they'll pass on the fee to consumers and there will be some sort of revolution. Then, everybody will be sorry.

This is nonsense. The imposition of a tiny fee to support local TV stations – and remember that some have already abandoned local news as advertising dollars evaporate – is doable. The CRTC, which has been disgracefully slow, lumbering and ineffectual on this matter, needs to summon the gumption to tell cable companies to quit complaining and making nasty, threatening noises.

It is true, of course, that broadcasters bear some responsibility for the crisis in local TV service. From what I'm told, local advertisers in small-city markets have often been shunned instead of being cultivated by the broadcasters. The broadcasters wanted big, national ad campaigns, not ads for local stores and services. They wanted what could be done from head office, not places such as Windsor or London in Ontario, or Red Deer in Alta. Yet, as all of Canada knows, the CRTC has the power to shut out U.S. advertising during the Super Bowl. Surely it can impose regulations on local advertising dollars.

Excuse my rant. The idea of the government supporting local TV stations with government ad dollars is the most ridiculous idea since Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire. And based on a similar premise, really.

© Globe and Mail